Rough Weekend for Mommy

"My head's too hot for sleeping," she says. Toddler-speak translated means the pillow is too hot and I should turn it over to the cool side for her. It helps her go to sleep faster.

I lay beside her in the dark, with the night light showing me just enough detail so I can see her eyelashes, thick and black. Then her eyes flutter open. Then close. She turns over. And again. In so many different directions and contortions, its almost frustrating. Until finally she's calm and breathing heavily. Just an example of another night.

Emma likes to be in her bed best. Unlike Hannah, who desperately needs out of the crib the instant she is put in, Em likes her own space; likes to make a "nest" as Daddy calls it. The way gorillas makes "nests" to sleep in. So it normally does take her a few minutes, or 20, to fall asleep. And these days its about the same. So far. Though it seems she really moves around a lot before getting settled. It may be the Port-a-Cath and all of the tubes sticking out that make her uncomfortable. It may be a whole bunch of other things too.

They say the fatiguing effects of radiation therapy take about two to three weeks to kick in. I get that. This is day 9 of Emma's radiation treatment and she is starting to show it a little. Maybe it was just this morning, but who knows. She is pretty sensitive to it to begin with. Her hair is already thinning out. After the third day of treatment, I thought I was crazy, but I just kept finding hairs everywhere. The doctor's said that hair wasn't supposed to fall out until 3-4 weeks, but Emma's had already started to.

This past weekend had me laid up in bed with a vomit virus that Hannah brought home. Man! I literally did not leave my room for 24 hours on Saturday. Sunday was a little better. Poor Mike had to watch the kids; my Mom was out of town, so he was flying solo with no help. My sister and aunt came by to bring soup, most of which I couldn't keep down. I missed my kids--bad. They were banished from my bedroom, especially Emma who kept crying for me. It was total misery. I was still feeling like crap on Monday, so Mom (who was back by then) and Mike took Em to radiation on Monday morning. By the afternoon, I had just enough energy to drive her over to TCH and go to therapy appointments. I hadn't been sick like that in a long, long time. Beware, I heard it was going around.